I think I’ve written before about surrounding yourself with people who are positive and make you feel good. And keeping away from negative, miserable rudery.
I’ve been a bit down for a few weeks, on and off. You might have guessed.
My various illnesses get me down at times. And then another chip comes away, usually a piece of tooth.
Yes. I was having an Indian. They left a bloody stone in an olive or something in the spicey stuff.
A quarter of a tooth broke off. Again.
Turns out to be £620 crown work needed.
I’ve spent thousands on recent years just keeping enough tooth and metal and porcelain in my mouth to be able to eat.
And it just adds to the growing and daily depressing list of things to put up with.
But, as a GP once said, what can’t be cured must be endured.
Yeah. Thanks for that. You may be right, but it doesn’t help a lot.
So, yes, it gets me down. And it probably gets you down too.
So I’ve been working slowly towards doing what we all should do.
A plan for living well. For coping. For making life worthwhile.
So the other day I sat down for an hour to start scribbling.
I’d taken Lupin for a nice gentle, warm walk around nearby fields.
Watched and photographed some ploughing. (They took the rape off last weekend.)
Let the dog run wildly around, leaving a dust cloud behind her. Racing pointlessly around after…who knows what?
Where, then, do I start?
What gives me real pleasure?
What stops me from doing these things?
What can I do to make it possible to do them?
What do I absolutely need to do?
What is inescapable?
And which do I actually have a choice about?
What do I want to do before I die or become incapable?
What do I do that I don’t enjoy?
Why do I do these things?
What would happen if I stopped doing them?
So I’ve made a start.
The next stage is probably harder. Actually stopping doing some of the things.
Thus, for example…
What will I lose if I stop being Chair of the DAA?
What will I lose if I stop chairing the acute hospital patient panel?
And what will I gain, of course?
It’s a really intriguing position. Because I’m scared of being lonely and unneeded, and being at home thinking…if only…
But I need to do what gives me pleasure. And makes me get up in the morning with a smile of optimism.
I’m not going to share what I wrote down. That’s private.
But you should do this. And sort out what’s left of your life.
And enjoy it.
Life’s too short to be dull, to do things that drain your optimism, that make you depressed.
And that make you think…
What’s the point?