The magic roundabout

Up and down
Round and round

I watched an episode the other day.


The wonderful fair ground music
The model characters popping along
Talking in mysterious mythologically understated allegory

Well, I don’t know what’s happening to me but I too am going
Round and round
Up and down

You tell me…
Is this dementia?
Or is it just depression?
Or physical conditions beginning to get the better of me?

Roller coaster
That’s the modern term.

I’ve been busy this Autumn.
Speaking at conferences and events
Meeting lots of lovely inspiring people working for the same thing
Learning about the great innovations and simpler everyday things that make living with dementia


And now I’m burned up
Staring in
Not feeling fed up, just nothing

No sense of having achieved much
No sense of impending change
Just tired

I wonder if others feel like this at the end of the year?

The roundabout has stopped for a little maintenance
A lick of paint
Grease the joints
Stop the creaking
Service the engine

We’re off again next month?

It’s like I lose my nerve now and then.
Imposter syndrome.
How could I be taken seriously?
I’m not an expert.
I’m just me.

Perhaps I’m writing this to get me back again
To the other person

Writing does that for me

When I was young I wrote self indulgent poetry
And I wallowed.
They did something transformational at the time
And I grew a love of books, myth, poetry, language…

And now I write to sort out my thoughts
About dementia

And I hope it’s not self indulgent, self pitying rubbish.

I hope that I may help others to understand themselves
What it’s like
Up and down
Round and round


6 thoughts on “Boing…boing…boing

  1. Sounds like a perfect description to me George. When you think of all that we’ve doing, it’s no wonder we need to recharge our batteries sometimes – it’s worse than having a full time job😊
    Chill and plug into the mains for a while and you’ll come back bouncing – have a good Christmas 🎅x


  2. For some reason even tho i requested email for your blog I dont think i have been getting it. Since flailing (and failing) at newsletter efforts had not sat down to read your entries til now. I have missed them … and you. You do good work, my friend 😀


  3. Pingback: This Holiday Season Context of History and Symptoms | Truthful Loving Kindness

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